Health jokes
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
Why don’t oranges 🍊 go around blind?
Because they take Vitamin See!
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
Why is Delta jealous?
Because Omicron took the final kill.
This making me laughing so much! 🤣🤣🤣
All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *gunshots* and *click* *cash register noise*, unlearn years of trauma and maintain healthy habits and fulfilling relationships while learning how to have solid boundaries and a whole sense of self.
Sarcastic Doctor: Tell me.
Guy: I have leukemia in the brain.
Sarcastic Doctor: That doesn't concern me.
Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.
Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."
Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"
Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."
Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."
Someone walked into a cancer ward and asked for a skin fade.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheel.
Why isn't there a ball pit at Taco Bell? Because it's hard to have fun knowing you might poop your pants.
Why did two dumb blondes put condoms on the cow's udders because they wanted the cow to practice safe sex?
Hello, which do y'all think is more embarrassing to have, is it autism or Down syndrome?
What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?
A quack head!
My mom must be a duck then...
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
Why is yo mama so fat? She follows rap boat's diet.