My sister said you smell, but then she saw her panties having moles on it.
Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.
A transgender woman with cancer of the tits only has to pay for half the operation.
Health commercials be like:
Serious side effects can cause:
Nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, chills, fever, cancer, diabetes, AIDS, chlamydia, lupus, Ebola, polio, leprosy, pulmonary edema, heart attack, heart failure, yellow fever, but worst of all, DEATH!
Bitches do be so flat, you would think they have breast cancer.
What's worse than Aaron with Down syndrome?
Aaron with a rope.
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
You're so skinny you never gain weight. You're so skinny you're a thin stick.
Why did the fish go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling “eel.”
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
Sometime ago I went to the morgue and asked if they took walk-ins.
I pregnoot.
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.
I slit my wrists.
Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.
Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"
Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,
And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.
