Health jokes
I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.
I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."
Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?
No, what happened?
He couldn’t stop pootin!
Zion's so fat, when he walks, he breaks his mama's back.
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
My BALLS itched when I crashed the plane.
Memes
A book went to the doctor’s office and said: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever.”
Doctor: I can't treat you.
Orphan: Why!
Doctor: I'm a family doctor.
You're so skinny my grandma gonna use you like a cane.
What do Africans eat for breakfast?
E-bola Cornflakes.
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
What's bad? A nut allergy.
What do you call a crappy circumcision?
A rip-off.
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
Because all I do is pound it, man. I would put you on my "600 Pound Life" if you didn't weigh 1,000.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
"hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.