Die

Person

Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.

The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.

“First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector”, says the coroner.

“Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”

The inspector then asks, “What about the third body?”

“Ah,” says the coroner, “This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning.”

“Why is he smiling then?” asks the inspector.

“He thought he was having his picture taken.”

Difference

Anonymous

What’s the difference between an American 12 yearold and an African 12 year old? About 40 pounds.

Puns

Anonymous

Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone

Wife

Anonymous

An American woman married a British man. On their honeymoon, the British husband said, ¨You look like a million pounds!¨ The wife divorced him.

Fat

@missingdogbone@vlonelun

Location is in London by the way. One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money. His friend, “Oh for once you lost some pounds!”

Bone

Anonymous

Beneath this monumental stone Lise 80 pounds of skin and bone

Wife

unrealnoodles

Once, there was a couple about to have sex. “I have something to confess,” said the shy wife. The husband then said, “Whatever it is, I will still love.” The wife then said "Honey, I flat chested. The husband said, “It’s okay, I’m a baby down there anyways.” He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex. The next day, the wife said “I thought you were a baby down there.” The husband then said “I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds.”…

Fat

I Eat Toes

Yo mama so fat she got arrested for carrying 100 pound of crack

Fat

run

because all I do is pound it man I would put you on my 600 pound life if you didnt weigh a 1,000

Soup

Anonymous

I have 2000 pounds of one-ton soup

Fat

run

because all I do is pound it man I would put you on my 600 life if you didnt weigh a thousand

Girl

LilBigSncx

Roses are red, I like girls from the south, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kids head and farting in his mouth.

Fat

EmotionalCat

YO MAMA is soooooo FAT that she was arrested for carrying 10 pounds of CRACK!!!

Girlfriend

Scott

Girlfriend:I just lost 5 pounds! Me:How many makeup wipes did you need?

Calculator

lui nixen

mrs.mallaras boobs where (69) pounds she said that was to to to much(69222) so she went to 51st street (6922251) to visit doctor x (6922251 x) and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8) she ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008

Name

Stephanie

What is your favourite name? Amy has

Fat

Brand696969

I like my women thick, so if they aren’t over 375 pounds they’re not stepping into my room.

Kid

herbal

101 pedo jokes whys everything x2, need to get this shit dick off before the coppers come, its called women taking advantage, youl shit the bitcoin, 90% percent of pedo’s who dont admit there like kids blame the police, shit your kappas, you only want my veins why dont you inject me with smack, run in with ya black armbands, ive been sized for a million pound, stop giving me strain asking questions, i know whats going to happen next, bet the judge is a women, jelous coz your drink tastes like shit?, is it coz your shit though?, how many bids have you done?, shit 1million views, dont try bribe me, did the police give me snip?, hows my barbie doll or shall i say my little pony? the police beat fuck outta me, whats all these needle marks on my arm, i can tell you want something, whys everything like one big cycle, police own the dark web,

keep it going on lol

Fat

EmotionalCat

Yo mama so fat she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of CRACK.

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