Pound jokes
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"
Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.
It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.
I have 2000 pounds of one-ton soup.
Yo mama is so ugly, if she got a pound for every boy that found her unattractive, boys would find her attractive.
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.
"I can lose 10 ugly pounds anytime I want -- I'll just cut off my head!"
Do you use humor to make light of your emotional eating and your weight? Make jokes about overeating and being fat as a way of getting along with other people? I was a Grand Champion at it.
Girlfriend: I just lost 5 pounds!
Me: How many makeup wipes did you need?
Me: Hey, say I am ugly for a billion pounds.
Them: You're ugly.
Me: Sorry, I am not a mirror.
I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"
"Six pounds."
"And shaving?"
"Three pounds."
"Good, then shave my head."
Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.
What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?
A minor.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
I just reached 10 million pounds in Euro Truck Simulator, but it's not even close to what Rakhmat Akilov achieved.
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
Once, there was a couple about to have sex. "I have something to confess," said the shy wife. The husband then said, "Whatever it is, I will still love." The wife then said, "Honey, I'm flat chested." The husband said, "It's okay, I'm a baby down there anyways." He then pulled down his pants and began to have sex.
The next day, the wife said, "I thought you were a baby down there." The husband then said, "I am; 22 inches and 7 pounds."
101 pedo jokes.
Why's everything x2, need to get this shit dick off before the coppers come, it's called women taking advantage, you'll shit the bitcoin, 90% percent of pedo's who don't admit they're like kids blame the police, shit your kappas, you only want my veins why don't you inject me with smack, run in with ya black armbands, I've been sized for a million pound, stop giving me strain asking questions, I know what's going to happen next, bet the judge is a women, jealous coz your drink tastes like shit?
Is it coz your shit though? How many bids have you done? Shit 1 million views, don't try bribe me, did the police give me snip? How's my barbie doll or shall I say my little pony? The police beat fuck outta me, what's all these needle marks on my arm, I can tell you want something, why's everything like one big cycle, police own the dark web.
Keep it going on lol.
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"
Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.