Stephen jokes
Why was Stephen Hawking known as lazy?
Because he was always sitting on the job.
When Stephen Hawking's teacher asked him, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
He said, "Six foot four."
When does Stephen Hawking cross the road?
When it says "DON'T WALK."
Why did Stephen Hawking go to his fridge but get nothing out?
It was a dummy run.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
"Windows shut down sound."
Hi. My name's Stephen Hawking. What's your disability?
What’s Stephen Hawkins favourite shampoo and conditioner?
Head and shoulders.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite drink?
His dribble.
Stephen Hawking said there is no God.
2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
What shoe size is Stephen Hawking?
It doesn't matter—he can't walk anyway.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with David Beckham?
They both dribble.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
Why did Stephen Hawking get sacked from his job?
Because he was always rolling in late.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
Stephen Hawking drove too far away from the wall and unplugged himself.
Why haven't they put Stephen Hawking in charge yet?
Most of us have been somewhere Stephen Hawking hasn’t: Upstairs.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? His left shoulder.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite robot? Him as his shoulder/wheelchair.
Why did Stephen Hawking die when he logged onto Facebook?
It took all his info!
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕