Health jokes
What do you call a flooded hospital?
Vegetable soup.
A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?
Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.
What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?
Air quality alert code brown!
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get their FILLINGS fixed.
Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.
FRR
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it's poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
What do you call a fat downie?
A couch potato.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you!
What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.
Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?
Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?
Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!
Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."
I C U P works on 88% of people.