Health jokes
Jig, Jill, Bill ate a pill.
My family was like dinosaurs when they got COVID.
They both went extinct.
Like, if you hate wearing a mask.
Every time I'm out in public, and I see someone without their mask, I always feel like there is something extra special about them. Then I realize that I can see all their face!
True story by the way.
Why is 2020 the worst year? Because COVID-19!
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
Memes
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abort!
What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?
A war of nutrition.
Real Pokémon.
Anxiety evolved into depression. Depression was the final stage evolution.
Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
I've been taking Viagras for sunburn.
It keeps the sheets off my bed at night!
I have more STDs than Hicks has friends at the moment. I only have one.
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
How much did the liver weigh?
It weighed a skeleTON.
Sally fell off the swing.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Sally.
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!
Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.
Could it be ligma?
Ligma balls, daddy!
What happens when you eat salmon with Nutella?
You get salmonella.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste!