Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.
Health Jokes
Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling good.
What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?
Fat people jokes.
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
"You need to cease, all those fat cuz u obese."
Why didn't the doctor help the orphan?
Because he was a family doctor!
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
...Because there's always a cast!
Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
Why is it always cold in the hospital?
To keep the vegetables fresh.
Why is Delta jealous?
Because Omicron took the final kill.
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
