Drinker jokes

What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.

I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.

What does an electric-type Pokémon say when they get gassy while drinking milk?

I’m Zaptos intolerant!

I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.

Who can drink 20 liters of fuel without dying? A jerrycan.

An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.

The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"

And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.

One day a man was fixing a car, and he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "Hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like, "Dude, this can't be healthy." But he said, "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."

Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...

You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"

Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.

Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?

They only come out for the boos.

This is why they don't want to sell the Double Manhattan in pubs anymore.

Oh, he needs some milk!

Man: *steals drink*

Boy: bro😭😭

Man: Why are u crying over a drink?

Boy: That had drugs.

Man: ....

Blake drinks Coke.

You're an alcoholic!