Health jokes
My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.
There is one difference between autistic kids and vegetarians.
They're both vegetables in serotonin ways.
Vape company: Hey, want some lung cancer and a nicotine addiction?
Teens: NO WAY!
Vape company: But it’s mango flavored!
Teens: O OK. 😤
Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"
Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.
Isn't It Purrfect!
A monkey eats cheese. He was lactose intolerant.
What if your Corona test is neutral?
1. Full name: John.
2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.
3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.
4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.
5. Mental health: mentally retarded.
6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.
7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.
8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.
9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's...
You know who else suffers from Alzheimer's.
Alles tut weh.
My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.
"Cancer gives you weed. It’s not healthy."
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
Most of his Taliban friends have more wives than teeth.
What is a part of a vegetable you can't eat?
The wheelchair.
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
For so long, I thought I was a Gemini, apparently I'm Cancer!
Lucky they're only balls, not real balls!
Yo, Dad is so skinny, he doesn't work out enough.
How do people get skinny?
Their parents don't feed them. (JOKE)