Health jokes
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
Badminton: Your breath is so bad that you have to take a mint before you go on Fortnite.
Why are skinny people skinny?
Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.
Why are cancer kids so fly?
Because they got the drip.
What do you call an emo cancer kid?
Chemo.
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can’t defeat cancer!
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!
What's Technoblade's actual Zodiac Sign?
Cancer!
"What do you tell a person with depression?
Just hang in there, buddy!"
What's the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair! ♿
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
You're so skinny the world turns to the left!
Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic.
Plus, she's too young to smoke.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
What do you do if a woman is choking? Pull out a few inches.
I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.
My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
Exercise?
I thought you said "extra fries!"
-A minion (you may now laugh).