I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.
Health Jokes
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month.
I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* model!
I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.
Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
How do you know someone is autistic?
They get stuck in a loop very often.
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to wake up sleeping pills.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.
Health and safety tips: Looking at your hairline is hazardous. For your best interest, please look away.
True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.
What is an old lady's favorite exercise?
Trying to get up from the soft couch.
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
Technoblade should have drank milk. Would have gotten rid of all his status effects!
