The doctor had an ego so big, it fell into the ocean fast.
Health Jokes
One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.
And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.
And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.
I was falling down the stairs at my local clock tower.
I somehow broke more than 206. I broke 342!
I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.
If you swallow gum, it will make your poop bouncy.
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
"Ouch!"
"What's wrong?"
"I stepped on a screw."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm in ex-screw-ciating (excruciating) pain!"
What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.
None.
Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Q: What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
A: The wheelchair.
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk.
What is Chuck Norris' favorite Sonic song?
"Open Your Heart."
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What do you call a white man that’s blind?
Asian eyes.
Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.
Doctor: Sex is good for you!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My name is Ach.
Ach who?
Bless you!
