Health jokes
What do you call a fat downie?
A couch potato.
What do you call a bunch of autistic kids in a box?
A toolbox.
All zodiac signs have their hairstyles. Except cancer.
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth pics.
I was trying to make homemade baby powder until I realized it isn't made from babies, oops wrong ingredient... smh
What is Ronaldo's favorite fruit?
Oranges because they have vitamin C.
The doctor had an ego so big, it fell into the ocean fast.
One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.
And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.
And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.
I was falling down the stairs at my local clock tower.
I somehow broke more than 206. I broke 342!
I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.
If you swallow gum, it will make your poop bouncy.
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
"Ouch!"
"What's wrong?"
"I stepped on a screw."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm in ex-screw-ciating (excruciating) pain!"
What's the difference between my ripped jeans and my arms?.
None.
Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Q: What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
A: The wheelchair.
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
What’s better than winning a medal at the Paralympics?
Being able to walk.
What is Chuck Norris' favorite Sonic song?
"Open Your Heart."
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.