Health jokes
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
Aren't paraplegics just plegics who can fly?
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
You're so skinny you use floss to wipe your butt.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
You're so fat, when you step on a scale it says, "To be continued."
You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!
My BALLS itched when I crashed the plane.
What do you call someone with no legs?
Disabled.
Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.
Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.
Me: How do you know that?
Do you know what it takes to beat cancer?
Heartbeat.
Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
AUGH, oh sorry, I just got a third ball because of girls hitting my balls with a handball!
Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.