Health jokes
"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"
Why do orphans die so much?
'Cause MJ said "she got COVID-19."
I always say no to drugs, but considering that I'm talking to them right now, I probably already said yes.
My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.
Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.
100% of blind people in Africa can't see. Together, we can stop this.
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
What did the leper say to the hooker? "You can keep the tip."
Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!
Why did the moderator of worstjokesever.com die?
He had a heart attack because he was a fat loser.
Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.
Doctor: Oh, don't worry, mine too!
Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"
What's Juice Wrld's favorite salad? A seizure salad.
Iβve got a joke about Alzheimers.
Um.
Oh no. I canβt actually remember it.
The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one.
Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?
Diabetes.
"Who am I? Why am I typing?"
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
A: Do you eat food?
B: Yes...
A: You can sit on deez nuts then!
B: Omg I have depression now.
My bum hurts.
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"