Harding jokes
Funny things or weird things to say to someone.
Hey... have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone.
It's hard to find friends that [are] 91% funny, 100% nice, and 1000000% good-looking. Funny!
Weird names to call a girl: Sweetums.
Baby-Bugga-Boo.
Fuzzkins.
Lumpy.
Nilly.
Ninty Minty.
and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross that's why I am not getting a bf!
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"
How are Kobeβs death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.
Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!
Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.
I've been told I've got a perfect cock.
She sure was hard on me when I took it from her, though.
Memes
I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.
So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....
What is hard about having a relationship with an astronaut?
They are always so distant! :-]
One dark stormy night when I was 8 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee. Half asleep, I walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door, I felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically, and the ghostly sound stopped. Terrified, I did what I had to and went back to bed.
The next 3 nights, the same thing happened, and finally, I decided I had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up, I went into my parents' room and woke my mom up and said, "You have to come with me and see this, it's really important." Half asleep, she murmured, "Oh, what is it? Can't it wait until the morning?" I pleaded, "No, you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost. When I go in the middle of the night, I can hear a ghost sound. Then when I open the door, I feel the cold as it swoops through me, and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "Oh, so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? Youβre touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and Iβll shove it in your face.
Why is it so hard to find people defending suicide in any discussion?
Because they are really committed to their cause.
What does Michael Jackson say when he gets hard? Ow!
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
Itβs hard to beat my girlfriend when sheβs holding the mop.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
Bunger got me like:
π Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipedia https://emojipedia.org βΊ face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or...
What's the difference between Monday and a dick?
They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.