Harding jokes

My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.

My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.

My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”

I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”

Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?

A. Calculus homework.

A boy and his mother survived a car crash.

The boy asks his mother, "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."

How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?

It isn't hard.

I don't get why cancer is so hard to beat. I'm already on stage 4.

How do you make it hard for a rapist who is trying to rape you? Rub it.

I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.

I apologize for my grammar.

What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.

A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a Viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" she asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well, that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."

Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.

I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. 😉😏

Roses are red, I don't know why, Living is hard, I want to die.

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."

Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"

Guy: "Yup"

Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"

Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"

Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.

He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.

We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)

How did Stephen Hawking please his woman? He uses a hard drive.

What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.

My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice. I called it "cold hard cash."

My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.