My cousin died last week he needed a blood transfusion but we didnt know his blood type he just kept saying “b positive b positive” but its hard to be positive with him gone

My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”

I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

It ain’t always easy having erectile dysfunction but it sure as hell ain’t hard

I do t get why cancer is so hard to beat. I’m already on stage 4

how did Stephan hawking please his woman he uses a hard drive.

Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”

Roses are red, I dont know why, Living is hard, I want to die.

A boy and his mother survived a car crash. The boy asks his mother “Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?” The mother replies with “More like an accident.”

I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her 5$ to go play a game but she tugged my joy stick to hard

Are you corona?? Cuz it’s hard to breath around u ;)

My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice

  • i called it cold hard cash

how did steven Hawkins die? he tried to update to windows 10 and his hard drive corrupted

What’s the difference between light and hard?

It’s easy to get to sleep with a light on.

My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.

What is the difference between Light , and Hard ?? You can go to sleep with a Light on …

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away… it can keep ANYONE away.

if you throw it hard enough.

I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. 😉😏

There were three people on the third floor of a building the first one took a bite of a apple then said it was too hard so he threw it out the window the second person took a bite of a lemon he said it was too sour so he threw it out the window the third guy was drunk, he took a bite of a grenade and thought it was to crunchy so he threw it out the window then one of them went downstairs he saw a dog laying on the ground dead the apple had hit the dog in the head then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap it had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head next there was a old guy laughing i asked him why he was laugh he said “i farted and the building behind me blew up”.

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