Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.
Lightsaber Jokes
What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's greatest enemy?
The low ground.
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.
Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.
Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?
Yoda was in charge of scheduling.
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
Stormtrooper: Hey Palpatine! Luke is Vader's son.
Palpatine: Knew it.
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?
"May divorce be with you."
Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?
Palpatine: Renew it!
So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."
Why did people invent glow in the dark condoms?
So gay people can have lightsaber duels.
Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.
*also him*
Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.
What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?
Obi-Wan Canopy
How did Mace Windu die?
He fell out the windoo.
Obi-Wan be like:
"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
What do you call a Jedi that can use the force to fly?
A Jedi Flight.