Lightsaber jokes
What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?
Obi-Wan Canopy
So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."
Why did people invent glow in the dark condoms?
So gay people can have lightsaber duels.
What do you call a Jedi that can use the force to fly?
A Jedi Flight.
Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.
*also him*
Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?
Yoda was in charge of scheduling.
Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.
Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
How did Mace Windu die?
He fell out the windoo.
Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?
Palpatine: Renew it!
Obi-Wan be like:
"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"
Stormtrooper: Hey Palpatine! Luke is Vader's son.
Palpatine: Knew it.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's greatest enemy?
The low ground.
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.
Stormtrooper: What happened to the Jedi Order?
Palpatine: Slew it!
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?
"May divorce be with you."
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.