Lightsaber jokes
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.
What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's greatest enemy?
The low ground.
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.
Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.
Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?
Yoda was in charge of scheduling.
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
Stormtrooper: Hey Palpatine! Luke is Vader's son.
Palpatine: Knew it.
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?
"May divorce be with you."
Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?
Palpatine: Renew it!
So, in "Revenge of the Sixth" when Anakin goes and kills the younglings, I thought to myself, "Hey, it’s just another day in an American school."
Why did people invent glow in the dark condoms?
So gay people can have lightsaber duels.
What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?
Obi-Wan Canopy
Anakin Skywalker: I don't like sand.
*also him*
Anakin Skywalker: I lived on sand.
How did Mace Windu die?
He fell out the windoo.
Obi-Wan be like:
"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
What do you call a Jedi that can use the force to fly?
A Jedi Flight.
You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.
Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.
playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a crowbar could do it so much quicker.