Why is it so hard to make a party on earth? Because you need to Planet.
whats long hard and has cum in it?
a cuCUMber
Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me, because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.
Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC's so he goes home and ask his mom who's cooking "Whats the first letter of the ABC's?" he ask and his mom responds with "SHUT UP... I'M COOKING!" so then he walks to sister who's signing in the shower and asks her "Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC's?" she responds with "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" then he walks over to his brother who's watching batman and asks "Whats the 3rd letter of the ABC's" and his brother responds with "nu nu nu nu batman" then he proceeds to walk to his dad who's watching football and ask "Dad whats the 4th letter of the ABC's?" and he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD!" then he walks to his grandma who's cooking buns and ask her "Whats the 5th letter of the ABC's?" and she responds with "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!" then he Johnny proceeds to go to school the next day and the teacher says to her class "Can any of you tell me the first letter of the ABC's" Johnny of course raises his hand and the teacher calls on him then he says "SHUT UP I'M COOKING!" then the teacher raises and eyebrow and says "Young man are you ready to go to the principals office?" then he proceeds to say "I'm ready to go I'm ready to go!" and he walks to the principals office then she says "What's you're name son?" he responds with "Nu nu nu nu batman!" then the principal ask "How many spanken's boy?!" he responds with "95 HIT EM HARD" and after that he runs out of the principal's office well yelling "MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!"
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself and his friend says "Find jesus instead he'll help you!" and than the man says "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist".
If you think long and hard Oral sex is like Cannibals
What goes in small and soft And comes out big and hard A tea bag
Friend: Why did you touch me? Me: That guy in the corner with no hair , glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up. If you don't like them your just hard boiled
Life is a lot like a penis. Its relaxed, and just hanging there.
It's women that make it hard.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days? I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea just put in the freezer
Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair
It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit
I like your cut G *Slaps really hard* BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube? Both get hard when we play with them.
They say if viagra lasts more than four hours call the doctor ? I’m just wondering it’s been 6 hours and I’m still hard should I call the doctor or hop on another women
Why Hollywood doesn't make a good Movie about holocausts? because it's so hard to skin Jewish characters
Everytime a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol
i bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off
I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.
You know they say, when you get lemos make lemonade...Well i took that a little bit too literal
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
