Harding jokes
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
Why is it so hard to play hide-and-seek in an orphanage?
Because nobody is looking for them.
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.
Linda and Peter are having sex. Peter goes in and out hard then fast and then begins to taste her tits. Finally, he moves down to the vagina and eats her hard. His rouge is inside her body, lolling around. He fucks her hard again and his dick slicks up her vagina. The entire time she is moaning and begging for more.
When Linda cums on his penis she begins to lick his balls hard. Peter begins moaning too saying, "Linda, you're just as amazing at fucking as your sister."
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
This is so bad
One dog said to the other dog, "Man, it is hard sleeping on the floor."
The other said, "Really? I like my bed."
What is hard to find but easy to make?
An orphan.
You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her pussy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!
Hey girl, are you a diamond pick?
'Cause I'm as hard as obsidian.
My mom and I went to a bank. Hard to say I never heard of it. The name is "Addison Banks."
LOL
My uncle and I have somewhat of an awkward relationship. At times I find him a bit hard to swallow.
A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.
"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.
"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."
The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"
She said, "Not everybody paid."
Are you a printer? Because you turn my soft copy into a hard copy. Dark..Humor :)
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
Why does Michael Jackson have such a hard time playing chess?
He can't choose between black or white.
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
Why did the rapper apologize to the sidewalk?
He didn’t mean to SPIT that hard.