Harding jokes

What's the difference between Monday and a dick?

They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.

What's long, hard, and slimy?

A bar of soap.

Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.

Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.

A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."

Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."

We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:

1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.

2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.

3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).

HAIKU JOKE:

Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.

Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.

I like rocks, specifically Jeon Jungkook's rock hard abs. 😉🤭🤣

What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?

Hard cheese! 🧀😂

Play dead, they said.

Wasn't too hard.

I've been dead inside for years.

*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*

Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”

Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”

Teacher: “Why?”

Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”

So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."

So, one day in 3rd grade, I was making this art piece and I was talking about my friend that was a boy that I have known for 5 years. But then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I'M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!" As soon as I heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing their butts off, but laughed so hard, I fell out of my chair!

Medusa makes men hard.

Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls?

They don't have water.

I got caught peeing in the pool.

The lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in!

He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.

What is one plus one?

It's TOO hard!

What is long and hard and full of seamen?

A submarine.