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Hey guys, wish me luck on my game Al-Nassr vs. Raed Al-Raed. I have 604 million followers on Instagram, but we are not gonna be able to beat that. Can we get to 69 followers, please and thankyou?

Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.

Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?

He was playing with too many strokes.

Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.

Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3

A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”

A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”

The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”

Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”

Most women are like the Twin Towers.

It's all fun and good when guys fly through them, but once the little people come jumping off them, it becomes sad and awful.

One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.

I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.

Guy with no arms: Even if I don’t have arms, I can do everything you can do.

🎵if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands🎵

I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.

A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"

"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he replies.