Go jokes
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
Me: I found a group of furries in the woods.
Voice in back: Well, it looks like we're going huntin'.
A blonde, redhead, and brunette are all sitting in a hospital's waiting room for ultrasounds.
After a while, the brunette giggles while rubbing her belly. Both the blonde and redhead look over at her and ask, "What's with the giggling?"
The brunette replies, "I'm having a boy!"
The blonde and the redhead ask, "How do you know?"
"Because he was on top!" The brunette replies again.
The three go back to conversing, and then the redhead starts to giggle while rubbing her belly.
"What's with the giggling?" The blonde and brunette ask.
"I'm having a girl!" The redhead replies.
"Well, how do you know?" The blonde and brunette ask again.
"I was on top!"
All of a sudden, the blonde bursts into tears.
"Oh, honey! What's wrong?" The redhead and brunette ask.
"I'm having puppies!"
People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."
I know it's really, really, really, really bad.
In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he’s dead.
You idiot.
My mom wanted me to build her a shed for her useless things, then she told me to go live in it.
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
Having homosexual parents must be terrible.
Either you have a double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in a cycle of "go ask your mom".
Bro's hair looks like Buzz Lightyear, going to infinity and beyond!
Why go across the street when you can just go down the hall, lol?
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
Go fuck yourself, cause I doubt anyone else will. 💅
My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them.
He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."