Go jokes

What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!

Why can't orphans go to a five-star hotel?

Maybe your butt good? Maybe bad... I'M GOING TO LAUGH!

So you can't pay rent and you know you're going to get evicted, but all of the sudden you hear a knock on your door and it's your landlord, but he's naked and erect, and on his cock, it says, "Your rent is due."

I was going to invite your friends to your birthday, but they were all extinct.

Where did the moon go to space? To the moon!

A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.

The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.

When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"

She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.

The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"

She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."

The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"

Why couldn’t wheelchair Harry Potter go to Hogwarts?

They had no wheelchair ramps or elevators...

Steven Hawking was going to jerk off, nope. 😂

Son: Mom, can I get $100 for a week?

Mom: Why do you need $100 for a week?

Son: I'm going on a date, and I need $100 for a week, please.

Mom: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Go on your date now. You got $1, so go.

Son: And you got $0.00.

Trump can get banned. The cops can tack him to jail, and Trump go go go go bye bye for good. Trump is meing.

So my sis thinks she's so smart. She said, "You can finish this move ten minutes later. Go to sleep."

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

What is black and white and red all over? A newspaper.

If you're ever bored, adopt an orphan. What is he going to do, be kissed by Vedanta?

This isn't even a joke, honestly. Rape victims bitch all the time, and they have a god complex. Hope they go through it again.

Two guys are on a plane. One of the guys' name is Jack. The other is Peter.

Peter: "Hi Jack."

Flight Attendant: "You're going to hijack the plane?!?"

Jack: "No, my name is Ja-"

Flight Attendant: "Everybody stay calm! These two men are going to hijack the plane!"

Jack: "No, no. My name is Jack and my friend here is an idiot."

Why is Lani Jesus? Go die.

Little Johnny's father says if them boys say another bad word, I'm going to whoop them, and Little Johnny's brother says, "I'd like some fucking food," and he whooped him, and Little Johnny says, "He would. I'd like some food. At least I didn't—I'd like some fucking food. Bye."

Are you with Alex?

Fucking retarded. Go dig a home die, people!

Some bread teacher: What will Reddit be in a few years?

Dumb Kid: DEADit?

Bread Teacher: You get an FY for FUCK YOU!

Bread Teacher: It will be BREADit!

Student: Hah, that's VERY funny! Might as well go to DEADit so I can die of laughter.