Go jokes
Why are most West Virginians going to hell?
Their favorite pastimes (inbreeding and bestiality) are an abomination unto the Lord.
Why did the cats go in the litterbox?? To take a poop!
I was naughty at school and my teacher said she's going to tell my dad. I was like, "Who's that?"
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.
A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:
"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
Me: Let's go to Randy's.
Friend: There's no Randy's.
Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
This joke is kinda offensive, but here you go.
What’s the longest joke of the year? Pride month.
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
I don't know, go google it.
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.
Here’s a joke, go look in a mirror.
If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?
The bank said go to the river bank. Oh, oh, oh, good fishy joke!
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."
Where did Alice go during the explosion?
Everywhere.
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
What was the last thing going through the 9/11 victims' minds?
They don't say "shit for brains" for nothing. 🤣🤣
A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.
One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."
"Oh, my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fucking sheet rock!"