Go

Go jokes

Snap

    • They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!

    Light Bulb

    • Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"

  • 1

    • Misunderstanding

    • A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.

    The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.

    That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."

  • 5

    • Jesus

    • Jesus got rejected. A few years later he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.

    Get off this site and go have some sex, you fucking virgins.

  • 1
    • Go memes

    Car

    • A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."

  • 0

    • Emo

    • What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?

    They are both going to be hanging from a tree.

  • 7

    • Toaster

    • OKAYYYY guys, today we're going to make DIY bath bombs. I bet y'all already have the first ingredient right here in your kitchen:

    *looks at toaster*

  • 0

    • Man

    • Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”

  • 8

    • Wall

    • Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?

    Viewers: Dora.

    Trump: No, I am President Trump.

    Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?

    Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.

    Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  • 0

    • Chicken

    • Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Answer:

    The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."

  • 1