Go jokes

I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.

Wife: "You don't even have friends!"

What is a cannibal's favorite place to go? An orphanage. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.

"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.

"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.

Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?

Because they are not going to work.

Where did Suzy go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.

Why'd Susie go down the slide too fast?

Because her wheelchair was good.

Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.

Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.

If you play games, go play on your sister.

Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.

David: Isn't that illegal?

Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.

David: I hate my life.

It is now legal to bully an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

How do you confuse a fish?

Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!

So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because he wasn't peeling very well!

My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"

The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."

About to go on a date.

But she was late.

So I got some tape.

And eventually punished her with rape.

Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:

"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."

Kate: Can we have a threesome?

Trevor: Sure.

The lights go off and Trevor starts doing what he's supposed to be doing, and then he feels something going up his back end. He goes to punch the person behind him, but then he turns on the light, and it was Kate behind him, and he's been fucking the guy the whole time.

Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.

Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”

How do trees access the internet? They log in.

Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.