Go jokes
My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Me: Demon Slayer.
My teacher: Why?
The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!
People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!
An Irishman, Englishman, and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness.
Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.
The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away, and demands another pint.
The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.
The Irishman reaches into the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers, and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"
I’m not saying you’re going bald, but you’ll find Waldo before you find your hairline.
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
Go Kermit, toaster bath.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go metal detecting?
Because when it beeps, it's him!
When Bubba's condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.
Why did the booty go to the party?
It heard it was a "bash."
Looks like depression got the best of me! Don’t worry, I’m already going under.
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.
Where did the software developer go?
I don’t know, he ransomware!
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Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
She will let it go!! 😂🤣
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
Parents: Let's have a bonfire.
Me: Let's go to the orphanage.
Parents: To bring other children?
Me: No, to have the fire.
Parents: Won't they be missed?
Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.
What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."