Go jokes
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
Why don’t spiders go back to school?
Because they learn everything on the web.
"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.
Where did Suzy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Bluey
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"
I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.
Orphan: "What family?"
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
If you play games, go play on your sister.
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
It is now legal to bully an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!