Bang Jokes


How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children’s ward


The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago and matter cannot be created or destroyed there for we are all technically 16.8 billion years old so to answer your question officer yes she is of age

in Depression

“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say.

“Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say.

“Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.

That one dude

“I had a great day today.” “Why?” “Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, ‘Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?’”

in Little Johnny

The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus so he asks his class, “where is Jesus today?”

Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven”

Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart”

Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”

The teacher says, “how do you know this?”

Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bang on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?”


I think I banged a Chinese celebrity… She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.

in Little Johnny

Little Johnny walked on into to his house.He heard a banging sound from up above and decied to investigate.He opened the door to his parents room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door.He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.

There was a plane crash the pilots names where Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk and Bang Ding Ow

Neil the pp poppa

Yo mama so fat that when i banged her in the jacuzzi there was a level 8 tsunami

in Music

Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.

in Fire

my friend committed suicide yesterday…at least he went out with a bang


So a guy is evading the draft, the cops bang on his door and he runs out the back and through and alley way onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse, she complies and the cops walk by and dont see them. The man comes back up from under the nuns blouse and says”Hey man, youve got a pair of balls!” The nun says, “I didnt wanna be drafted either…”

tv: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED farther: Guns cause all these problems! Kid playing fnaf security breach bang Bang Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y


So I’m banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”

how it be when the new guy takes too long… hay Danny, its me Johnny. Johnny: boss says to kill the guy in red. point the gun at his head. Danny: ok target locked. 3… 2… 1… bang. Johnny: danny hope you did not get the man in red> Danny; OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

in Orphan

orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets em. ( also I banged ya mum ;) )

Fighter Plane
in Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris one shot down a German fighter plane- by pointing his finger at it and yelling “bang!”


What’s the best part about banging twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them

Funny but sad.

What did niki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?

Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you.


guy: Are you a vending machine? because your a snack. girl: Your card got declined. guy: Thats ok you got to bang them a few times to get you moneys worth.