Bang Jokes


How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward


The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago and matter cannot be created or destroyed there for we are all technically 16.8 billion years old so to answer your question officer yes she is of age

in Depression

"Go big or go home", that's what some people say.

"Go loud and proud", that's what other people say.

"Go out with a big, loud bang!", that's what I say.

That one dude

"I had a great day today." "Why?" "Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, 'Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?'"

in Little Johnny

The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus so he asks his class, “where is Jesus today?”

Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven”

Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart”

Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”

The teacher says, “how do you know this?”

Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bang on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?”


I think I banged a Chinese celebrity… She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.

in Fire

my friend committed suicide least he went out with a bang

in Little Johnny

Little Johnny walked on into to his house.He heard a banging sound from up above and decied to investigate.He opened the door to his parents room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door.He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.

Neil the pp poppa

Yo mama so fat that when i banged her in the jacuzzi there was a level 8 tsunami

There was a plane crash the pilots names where Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk and Bang Ding Ow


So a guy is evading the draft, the cops bang on his door and he runs out the back and through and alley way onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse, she complies and the cops walk by and dont see them. The man comes back up from under the nuns blouse and says”Hey man, youve got a pair of balls!” The nun says, “I didnt wanna be drafted either....”

in Music

Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.


I wish I was a toe bc I want to be banged all day


Wemon are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.

tv: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED farther: Guns cause all these problems! Kid playing fnaf security breach *bang* *Bang* Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y


So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right? And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I'm positive. This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!" "Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"


the twin towers remind me of an,bang,boom.


when the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot. bing,bang,boom

Fighter Plane
in Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris one shot down a German fighter plane- by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"


What’s the best part about banging twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them