How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children’s ward
“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say.
“Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say.
“Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.
“I had a great day today.” “Why?” “Because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table and the teacher screamed, ‘Allison how would you like it if I banged you on the table?’”
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus so he asks his class, “where is Jesus today?”
Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven”
Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart”
Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”
The teacher says, “how do you know this?”
Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bang on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?”
Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys? He was playing by ear.
So a guy is evading the draft, the cops bang on his door and he runs out the back and through and alley way onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse, she complies and the cops walk by and dont see them. The man comes back up from under the nuns blouse and says”Hey man, youve got a pair of balls!” The nun says, “I didnt wanna be drafted either…”
So I’m banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right? And I’m thinking to myself, “She’s PROBABLY got AIDS.” So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I’m positive. This gets me thinking, “Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!” “Who has my sister been hanging out with?!”
guy: Are you a vending machine? because your a snack. girl: Your card got declined. guy: Thats ok you got to bang them a few times to get you moneys worth.
orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets em. ( also I banged ya mum ;) )
my friend committed suicide yesterday…at least he went out with a bang
What’s the best part about banging twenty eight year olds? There are twenty of them
Chuck Norris one shot down a German fighter plane- by pointing his finger at it and yelling “bang!”
What did niki Minaj say when she sat next to a bomb?
Bang bang right through the roof. Bang bang all over you.
What did Ron put in his diary? I Her-mio-ne after I banged her last night.
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
You know how we all have different side well I have a sucicidel side (here a bang in the next room) oh well not any more :)
When you’re banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody- pulls out noose ‘COME HANG’… pulls out gun Let’s go out with a bang… Bang- gunshot
Have you heard about the new cereal? It’s called “Prostituties”. They don’t snap, crackle or pop, but they sure do bang!
So I was watching tv right? then i f…ing got banged in the eye with either a remore or metal tongs “wtf”