Go jokes
Why don’t spiders go back to school?
Because they learn everything on the web.
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.
Orphan: "What family?"
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
Why'd Susie go down the slide too fast?
Because her wheelchair was good.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
Yo mama so stupid, when I said, "Go deep," she dug a hole in the field.
If you play games, go play on your sister.
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
It is now legal to bully an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
When I go to weddings, old people will tell me I'm next, but when I go to funerals, I tell old people they're next.
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!