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This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."

Q: Why are orphans so scared to get married?

A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.

A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...

Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.

What does a kid at Epstein Island and MAGA supporters have in common?

They both can't get Trump's dick out of their mouth.

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?

Because he can't run home.

How are urinals made?

They get installed.

My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.

I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.

Why is an orphan bad at tennis?

'Cause he couldn't get any love.

I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!

Why can’t Michael Jackson get within 500 meters of a school?

Cause he’s dead.

What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb twice until she finally gets it.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

What do black people and sports cars have in common?

Getting a noise complaint for being so loud.

I was staying over at my friend's; for the purpose of the joke, he shall be called Kian. It was 03:00 am and everyone else was asleep when I heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it. Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge; it was thought he had a huge slong.

The banging was getting louder, and so too was my heartbeat. I opened John's door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked. There was a glory hole through the wall where I could make it Kian's ass. This is what I have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts, which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards John. I shoved [my] 1-inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, "You little gimp, get on the bed."

Kian came in the room with a 2-litre bottle of Irn Bru. He demanded, "What the fudge are you doing?"

I replied smoothly, "Kian, you tracksuit warrior, you have a camel toe!"

Kian fires back, "Shut it, Paul, you have genital warts!"

John screams, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

He then gives us it so rough I can't walk the next day, but [I] feel pleasured for eternity.

By Lewis

There was a boy in the gym who was in his late teens. He was sitting at the dumbbells tables, but he wasn't lifting. He instead, sat up and was ripping something up.

The manager then walked over to him and asked, "You're hogging the dumbbells, dude! What are you even doing?" The boy hesitated, then said, "Getting ripped, wanna join me?" as he held up stacks of blank paper. The man silently sat on the table with him and grabbed some papers. "Why not?" he finally said.