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What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked at least.
Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?
A: A rapist.
Yo Mama is so fat that Nationwide took nine years to get on her side.
I’m the type to join a cult unknowingly, but get too lazy to commit to it.
What did one orphan say to the other one?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?
A car thief who can't drive.
What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together.
What do Call of Duty and Al-Qaeda goals have in common?
You’ve got to get more than one down.
Orphans get family-sized chips for free.
My bully to his mom after getting "cooked" by me: "Mama, I can't find my hairline!"
My bully. 😭
You will find your dad that left to get the milk before your hairline.
Alright listen up you penis sucking chicken muching grape juice sipping BLACKIE!!! This is Explain Bear here to explain the joke. So the joke of “Why did the chicken cross the road” is that you expect it to be a funny punchline. But instead, you get a straightforward answer “To get to the other side” which is the logical explanation to that question. The humor is found in subversion to the subversion of expectation. Double whammy!!! So yeah that was another joke successfully explained by EXPLAIN BEAR!!!!! Dont forget to like and subscribe to my youtube channel, and until next time, BEAR OUT!!!!!!!
What did Osama get on his test when he was a kid? A 9/11.
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:
Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.
Did you get seafood without me?
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."
The media's relationship with Hillary is just like Bill's relationship with Hillary. The relationship is unwanted and forced, and they'll move on to the next person any chance they get.
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."
The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."
Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.