Get jokes
What’s the best way to get gum out of hair?
Cancer.
Gwen, do you have to be so happy all the time? Even you don't get the joke!
What do you get when skeletons are dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tray? The apple tray gets picked.
If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.
Why do science jokes usually get no reaction?
Because they're so boron!
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the “shell” station.
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat…
Your mama is so stupid she stayed up all night so she can get some sleep.
What's the difference between an apple and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Hello, I am typing with the microphone, euros, hello bro and 0LXDXD bra, that’s funny, and also you are gay. Ha ha ha ha ha, get it done by eight.
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.
What do you get when you cross a vegan and a burger fry-cook?
A shitty plant-based patty.
Why are female pornstars like Krispy Kreme donuts?
Because they get glazed on both sides.
Why do egos like robbing banks?
They get a cut.
Life is never hard until you get hit hard with reality.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
A: Cowacat
B: Mooore
C: Cowacatfood