Get jokes

What did one orphan say to another orphan?

"Get in the batmobile, Robin!"

What’s the best way to get gum out of hair?

Cancer.

Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?

"Everywhere."

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.

In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.

Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?

You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.

Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy," to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, I'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy."

Dark humor is like a dad - not everyone gets it.

How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope...

if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year

Dark humor is a lot like food.

Not everyone gets it.

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says, “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies, “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies, “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent, and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says, “Ok, now what?”

Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad. Oh.... Wait... Continue.

20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."

So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"

Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.

Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?

He kept cutting in line.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Well, at least one gets picked.