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A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.
Why don't butts get along?
Because they can't stand each other's cheek!
How do you get a million fans?
Just run through Africa with a bottle of water.
Hello everyone, I am famous YouTuber MrBeast. I have an announcement to make on this website: Whoever gets the 1000th comment on the post I link below will get 1 thousand dollars, from me! We're almost there, get commenting guys!
https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603e8cd3eccd25122cb21897/guys-lets-make-this-post-have-the-most-comments-on-the-whole-website
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Boy, if you don't get your "I'm Burger King with my Burger Queen!"
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.
what is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"
Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"
Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."
The orphans all died!!!
Oh wait, no one cares...
Their parents are all dead anyway. We are just making them happier. They get to join their parents in hell.
What’s the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green."
"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."
"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."
"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"
"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."
"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"
"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."
"Get out of my store you grigger!"
"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."