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What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?

The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!

Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he got hit by a car.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."

Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"

The terrorists both say, "A beer."

The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"

One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"

What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?

An erection!

My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.

I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"

I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"

So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.

What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?

You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.

My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!

Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)

What did the blind, deaf, mentally handicapped orphan get for Christmas?

Cancer.

I wondered why the ball was getting bigger... then it hit me.

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.

Miss you dad.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple gets picked.

There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did and they ended up liking each other and getting married and living happily... wait, no, that’s not right.

Sammy actually snuck into Rayne’s house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?

He was always tardy.

Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?

Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.

Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?

To get them into his van.