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What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?

You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.

My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!

Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)

I wondered why the ball was getting bigger... then it hit me.

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.

Miss you dad.

What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple gets picked.

There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did and they ended up liking each other and getting married and living happily... wait, no, that’s not right.

Sammy actually snuck into Rayne’s house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?

He was always tardy.

Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?

Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.

Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?

To get them into his van.

Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.

The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.

The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.

According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.

Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.

I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.

Babies are like airstrikes; they get aborted.

Why did the bee get married?

Because she found her honey.

Q: How did the explorers get to school?

A: They rode the Colum-bus!

A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"

Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"