Get jokes
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
What do you get when you throw holy water on a cow?
A holy cow!
Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.
Why do homeless people commit crimes?
They get a bed in jail.
Q: Why do orphans get on Facebook?
A: Because they get liked.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
Q. What does a Russian girl do when she gets unexpectedly pregnant?
A. Has an abortion.
Where does the killer whale go to get its teeth done?
The orca Don-tist.
My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his whopper.
There's an upside to being an orphan; every snack they get is family size.
I go to get my mail.
Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"
Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"
Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm getting over it.
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.
Get a head in life by decapitating someone.