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Why did Sally get a black eye?
Because she tried to play patty cake.
According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
Sister: (moaning) Go get Mom, she'd love this!
Me: But Billy's with her right now.
Billy: UGHHHH...MMMMM
Dad: Hurry up Billy, I want to see you for a moment.
What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?
A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.
Dont get mad when i post it on Average_Ohion cuz this is my alt im Average_Ohion
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
Where did Milky Way get its degree?
At the university.
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
What did one saggy boob say to the other?
"We better start getting some support around here, or people are gonna think we're nuts!"
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
It's been known that Michael Jackson decided to do a song for the soundtrack for Free Willy, because he thought that he would get free willy in exchange for composing a song.
Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.