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Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.
Memes
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.
Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why did the serial killer cross the road? To get to the victim's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? The serial killer.
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...