Get jokes
Why do orphans enjoy playing tennis?
It's the only way they’ll get love.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
Why does Yoda like to get molested? Because he likes the Force.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
Memes
Roses are red, violets are blue, get the f*ck out, I’m trying to poo!
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM
How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.
Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.
What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?
Glockamole.
What falls down the building and doesn't get up again?
An emo.
I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!
"Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
- JFK
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked.
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."
A teenager went into a creepy house with his 3 friends. Only 2 came out. Where are the others?
(Getting brutally murdered.)
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm getting over it.