Get jokes
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
How to get into politics?
Fail art school.
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
Q: Why did the orphan cross the road?
A: To get to the other side to find his parents.
There was no other side of the road.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
Memes
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
Why should you keep English gay activists away from neo-nazis?
British cigarettes get smoked easily.
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when youβre watching in reverse order.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
Whatβs the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
Why do orphans enjoy playing tennis?
It's the only way theyβll get love.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
Why does Yoda like to get molested? Because he likes the Force.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
Roses are red, violets are blue, get the f*ck out, Iβm trying to poo!
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM
How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.
Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.