Get jokes
My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.
My friends:
Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.
Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.
Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.
Me: You guys are getting sleep...
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm getting over it.
Q: Why do orphans get on Facebook?
A: Because they get liked.
Memes
Pokemon: Why did the Miltank cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
What does an electric-type Pokémon say when they get gassy while drinking milk?
I’m Zaptos intolerant!
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
Why did the Dad cross the road?
To get the milk.
My dad went to get milk from Tesco’s.
He never came back.
An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."
Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.
Q. What does a Russian girl do when she gets unexpectedly pregnant?
A. Has an abortion.
Where does the killer whale go to get its teeth done?
The orca Don-tist.
Get a head in life by decapitating someone.
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.