Get jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got hit by a car.
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
Yo mama so fat, I have to take a train, 2 buses, and 3 airplanes to get on her good side.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Why should you keep English gay activists away from neo-nazis?
British cigarettes get smoked easily.
Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?
He gets to tear that ass up one more time.
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
What time is it when you get home and you walk, walk home and walk, walk home?
Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan? The apples get picked.
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
Why did the Dad cross the road?
To get the milk.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick. Get your head out of the gutters... Jeez!