German jokes

What did Hitler kill himself with? A "Nein"-millimeter.

My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.

Enough with the Nazi jokes.

They make me führeious!

Why is the German blind?

Because he's a "not see."

I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.

What is the one sauce Germans avoid on their steak?

"Ajous".

What is Hitler's favorite food? A hindenburger.

An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."

The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"

"Nein," said the old man.

Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.

Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.

What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!

GOTTVERDAMMT, Hans! I said, "Glass of juice," not "Gas the Jews!"

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

Why does Hitler need glasses?

Because he could Nazi.

6 Germans walk into a bar... and only three walk out.

Q: What is Germany's favorite board game?

A: Nahtzee (Yahtzee).

Meaning behind the German flag: 🇩🇪 Black: culture Red: Beer Yellow: Sausage Blue: Winning world wars.

German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys.

American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun.

African XP farms: Cotton field.

What do you call a German that can not see?

A Not-see.

What did the captured Germans say to the French in WW1?

"Verdun for."

Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:

Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)

East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)

Jew...Rey (Ray)

Black...BB-8 (BBC)

Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)

German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)