German Jokes


What do you call a German lesbian? A krautmuncher.


i don’t say funny stuff because I’m afraid they will take the German passport from me


My true hero is the person who killed Hitler



ur momma

did u hear about the new german microwave? it has ten seats in it


In heaven responsible for the joke is the English man for food the Italian man and for the law and order a German man… In hell responsible for food is the English man for order and law the Italian man and for jokes the German man

igloo and you

What the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?

A-doll Hit-her!


When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: “Is there a German here?”

Funny man

Q: What’s a German’s favorite Undertale character?

A: Gaster

a person

Question: how bad is german wifi?Answer: it´s the wurst.


Why is the Champs dElysees in Paris lined with trees? Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!

in Country

What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.


A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.

The German sticks his hand out and says “We are in Germany.” The others ask, “How do you know,” the German says, “Because it’s so cold.”

Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says “We are in Australia,” the others ask “How do you know,” he replies “Because it’s so warm.”

Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says " We are in Mexico," the others ask “How do you know,” he says " Because my watch is gone"


What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A “BeanerSchnitzel”!


What’s the German word for BRA? Keeptwofromfloppin.

Fighter Plane
in Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris one shot down a German fighter plane- by pointing his finger at it and yelling “bang!”

in War

My grandpa peronaly killed 3 german pilots.

He was the whorst mechanic luftwafe had.


My friend group is pretty diverse. I’m Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.

Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, “Who wants to go on a march with me?”


what do you call a german man who cant see

a not see

Raymond “Ray” Sisman

Why does Hitler need glasses?

Because he could Nazi