Hamburg jokes
Are people from Hamburg called Hamburgers?
What do you call a drivable Hamburger?
What?
A Hamborgini.
I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.
My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!
Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!
How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?
His buns were too tight.
What did the French Fry 🍟 say to the Hamburger 🍔?
I guess that’s a wrap!
What do kids call a balanced meal?
A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD
What is the difference between lettuce and a hamburger?
When the lettuce runs, the hamburger cries.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
A hamburger walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."
You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
What do you get if you add "ER" onto Hamburg?
Hamburg-ER.
What's a hamburger's favorite color?
Burgundy.
Hamburger cheeseburger Big Mac Whopper.
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: “ASPERGER’S”
What's the most delicious city in the world? Hamburg.