German jokes
TFW you're having sex with your German girlfriend and she won't stop telling you her age.
Q: What's a German's favorite Undertale character?
A: Gaster.
I am on the German website.
Sparkling water was invented by Germans. Who else would add gas?
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
U die from robot bite.
When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
What’s a German’s favorite drink? Orange Jews. Hundred percent concentrated.
In heaven, the Englishman is responsible for jokes, the Italian man for food, and the German man for law and order. In hell, the Englishman is responsible for food, the Italian man for law and order, and the German man for jokes.
Chuck Norris one-shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"
Deutsch: Die, die nichts zu sagen haben, reden viel. Die, die was zu sagen haben, hingegen kaum.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
I was going from Germany to Austria, and I accidentally crossed the border illegally. When the police caught me, they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them, "Why?" They said I didn't see the border.
Germany is...
I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"
What was the difference between the Federal Republic of Germany and the German Democratic Republic?
Federal Republic: The harder you work, the more you get.
Democratic Republic: The harder you work, the firmer the handshake and nothing else.
How tall does the grass grow in Germany?
Zis high!
The nearest approximation to a perpetuum mobile would be a Swabian chasing a Scot because of money.
(Swabians are the Scots of Germany regarding finances.)
Me: "My grandpa killed 100 nazis."
My friend: "Well, my grandpa killed Hitler."