Sparkling water was invented by Germans. Who else would add gas?
What do you call German weed?
Mustard Gas.
Deutsch: Die, die nichts zu sagen haben, reden viel. Die, die was zu sagen haben, hingegen kaum.
Why are Germans so good at cleaning?
They have experience in ethnic cleansing.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend, but I kept on getting distracted when she kept yelling her age.
What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.
Chuck Norris one-shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"
What’s a German’s favorite drink? Orange Jews. Hundred percent concentrated.
What did the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?
A-doll Hitler!
TFW you're having sex with your German girlfriend and she won't stop telling you her age.
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
I was going from Germany to Austria, and I accidentally crossed the border illegally. When the police caught me, they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them, "Why?" They said I didn't see the border.
Hitler.
Why is it poetic when they have plenty of those German sandals in the store? Because they're Birkenstock.
The nearest approximation to a perpetuum mobile would be a Swabian chasing a Scot because of money.
(Swabians are the Scots of Germany regarding finances.)
Did you hear about the German girl being raped by 10 men? She shouted, "nein, nein," so one of them left.
What did Hitler kill himself with? A "Nein"-millimeter.
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
