German jokes
Question: How bad is German WiFi?
Answer: It's the wurst.
Chuck Norris one-shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.
In heaven, the Englishman is responsible for jokes, the Italian man for food, and the German man for law and order. In hell, the Englishman is responsible for food, the Italian man for law and order, and the German man for jokes.
What's the difference between yo mama and German men?
The balls... German men don't have them.
My granddad died in Auschwitz in WW2...
He fell from a tower.
What did the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?
A-doll Hitler!
My true hero is the person who killed Hitler.
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
What is the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopin.
Me: "My grandpa killed 100 nazis."
My friend: "Well, my grandpa killed Hitler."
How do you say "Brazier" in German?
Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)
What’s the German word for BRA? Keep two from floppin'.
you.
Ines.
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."