German

German jokes

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NATO

  • How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.

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  • Man

  • Why do you call a man that is physically handicapped and German?

    A physically handicapped bisexual man that is promiscuous and German.

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    Hitler

  • What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?

    "Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."

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    Yo mama

  • What's the difference between yo mama and German men?

    The balls... German men don't have them.

    Sex

  • I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.

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    Light Bulb

  • How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?

    Answer: 1 to actually change the light bulb and the other 98 to suck each others' cocks and shit like that.

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  • Soldier

  • A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."

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    Man

  • A man found out that he was going to die.

    A German doctor comes in and says "you have 10 more". The man yells out "10 WHAT!! DAYS!!!! WEEKS!!!". And the doctor says "No seconds". And the man says "9 SECONDS!!!" And the doctor says "Nein. Ten seconds". He asked "How many seconds do I have to live 10, 9 , or...?"

    Then he died and learned how to say no in German....

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