Game jokes

My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:

I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."

Mom, can I please go out and play?

... no answer.

What game hurts you the more stages you survive?

Cancer.

Susie: Ling Ling, truth or dare?

Ling Ling: Truth.

Susie: What happened to Stacie's dog?

Ling Ling: Dare.

Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!

Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!

Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*

Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!

How do blondes play real-life Jenga?

By stacking humans.

Pool table.

After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.

They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.

A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...

The steaks were pretty high.

I have no puns because I don't play soccer.

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"

"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."

"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."

I was remembering the time when I lost my brother, only until I heard that hide and seek wasn't the best idea, especially in a secluded parking lot in downtown.

My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.

Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!

Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.

Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?

A: Musical chairs.

Why did Sally get a black eye?

Because she tried to play patty cake.

Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?

Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."

Kid 1: "Fortnite is good and Brawl Stars sucks!"

Me: Wow, I didn't know you were dyslexic.

I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.