Online

Online Jokes

Comeback

My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said, "You better come back with a goddamn sandwich!"

Online dating

As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.

Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.

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  • Pedophile

    A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"

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  • Dad

    My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.

    Orphan

    Why can't orphans play online games? Because they don't have parents to sign them up.

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  • Chat

    Ok, there has to be SOMEONE on this website right now. Whoever that is, wanna chat? (I'm just bored)

    Self Harm

    Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.

    Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.

    I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...

    Break up

    When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

    Cannibal

    What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?

    Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.

    Internet

    Why do bugs hate the internet?

    Because they always get caught.

    Get it? Inter-net?