Why don't you shower with a Pokemon? He might Pikachú.
What's the difference between Arsenal and West Ham?
Arsenal can win trophies and win games.
Sally fell off the swing.
Sally has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
I spy with my little eye nothing because I only have two normal-sized eyes.
22 ants were playing football in a saucer.
One ant said to another one, “We'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!”
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.
Yo mama stops at the PokeStop... to buy a Big Mac.
Marriage is like a deck of cards.
In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.
By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
What's a Mexican's favorite video game?
Borderlands.
Why are Americans so bad at Chess?
They're missing two towers.
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?
Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?
A pool table.