Friend jokes
Why are the two friends like the Twin Towers?
They fell apart.
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
Two friends fighting.
Friend 3: "Cut it out, you two!"
Friend 4: "It wouldn't help if they cut it out... Believe me... I've tried..."
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.
Who would've known?
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)
My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".
My friends: "I dare you to go home."
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?
They always hang around.
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...
Run, bestie, run!
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?
Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Friend: Why?
Me: Because they don't have a mother or father's day.
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
Why can't orphans go to a friend's house?
Because they can't make themselves at home.