Friend jokes

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I'm sorry.

Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.

I see a dreamer.

Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

Friend B: "I was until last night."

Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

Friend B: "Your sister."

Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."

I have fun with my friends.

I love friends.

Me: Knock knock.

Friend: Who's there?

Me: A broken pencil.

Friend: A broken pencil who?

Me: Nevermind, it's pointless.

My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.

Clarissa is here with us.

What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?

Getting them to come out of their shell.

Who was Goldilocks' best friend?

Goldie.

So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"

"Don't sneeze!"

Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.

Also,

"It dangles and swung!"

Language art quizzes are the best.

Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?

Because he was grounded.

Friend: Knock, knock.

Me: Who's there?

Friend: Short.

Me: Short who?

Friend: Short you!

Me: 🙁

Friend: 🤣

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.” So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.

Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?

Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”

When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...

What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?

"That is very Wong."

My friend is an amazing hacker. He cut down 23 trees already.