Friend jokes

So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"

Me: Knock knock.

Friend: Who's there?

Me: A broken pencil.

Friend: A broken pencil who?

Me: Nevermind, it's pointless.

Friend: Knock, knock.

Me: Who's there?

Friend: Short.

Me: Short who?

Friend: Short you!

Me: 🙁

Friend: 🤣

My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!

My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.

It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.

Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.

His parents weren't too happy.

Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?

Friend B: Yes, why?

Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!

My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?

Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?

I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.

What does an emo kid say to his best friend?

"Let's hang out."

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.

I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.

I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."

Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."

LOL

There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."

I only have a few friends, like if you relate.

Based on a true story.

Your forehead and your hairline must be great friends, because they go way back.

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

What's the difference between friends and family?

One is actually real.