Friend jokes

TJ's hairline is so far back, his friends don't even want to talk to him.

Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

So did my friend on the right.

I had a dream of skiing.

My friend Enyaw is gay, she is a cunt.

Me: Y’all should start calling me 1943.

Friend: Why?

Me: 'Cause I’m going through my own Great Depression.

So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"

Clarissa is here with us.

Me: What’s the definition of “ignorance”?

Friend: Don’t know?

Me: U STUPID!

You have to tell this to a friend:

There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10

How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?

Act like a nut.

Me: I need a good roast.

My friend: Take me!

Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣

Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.

I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.

Hey Sandy.

Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."

*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"

A friend asked what an acorn is.

I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”

My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

Me: What's the fifth month of the year?

Friend: May.

Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?