Friend jokes
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
Me: What’s the definition of “ignorance”?
Friend: Don’t know?
Me: U STUPID!
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣
Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.
Lol same
Me: I need a good roast.
My friend: Take me!
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
Hey Sandy.
Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?
They always hang around.
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".
My friends: "I dare you to go home."
"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...
Run, bestie, run!
Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?
Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."
Friend: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Short.
Me: Short who?
Friend: Short you!
Me: 🙁
Friend: 🤣