Friend jokes

I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.

Me: I need a good roast.

My friend: Take me!

Hey Sandy.

My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!

Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?

They always hang around.

Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

Why can't orphans go to a friend's house?

Because they can't make themselves at home.

Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?

Friend: Why?

Me: Because they don't have a mother or father's day.

It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.

He was a great vet.

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".

My friends: "I dare you to go home."

"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)

I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

Run, bestie, run!

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.

Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.

Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?

Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."

When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...

My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."