Friend jokes
Are you my friend?
Because I would make you more than that.
Hi my sweet friends! This is for everyone who needs help right now :)
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I'm sorry.
I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.
I see a dreamer.
My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
Who would've known?
Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"
Friend B: "I was until last night."
Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"
Friend B: "Your sister."
Friend A: "I don't have a sister."
Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
Who was Goldilocks' best friend?
Goldie.
Clarissa is here with us.
My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?
Because he was grounded.
So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"
I love friends.
I have fun with my friends.
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
What does an emo kid say to his best friend?
"Let's hang out."
Why can't orphans go to a friend's house?
Because they can't make themselves at home.
Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?
Friend B: Yes, why?
Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: A broken pencil.
Friend: A broken pencil who?
Me: Nevermind, it's pointless.