Friend jokes

I was in a bar in Italy. Me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number. I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found. I turned back, then I saw Pessi running with it. Shame on you, Pessi, for ruining my night! 😭

My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!

Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.

So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.

What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?

The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!

My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.

I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.

Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!

Friend: You are joking.

Me: Joking on deez nuts.

My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂

Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎

One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.

Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.

What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.

Me: That’s a good WAVE.

Friend: I SEA it.

Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.

Me: I was SHORE it would be good.

Friend: I SEA what you did there.

My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.

Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!

So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.

How ISS greets their friend.

"You the BOMB!"

Don’t you just wanna hang around, like Chester?

One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.