Friend jokes
Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.
My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.
Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!
What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.
Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.
BAHAHA
My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!
So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.
So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.
What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?
Me: That’s a good WAVE.
Friend: I SEA it.
Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.
Me: I was SHORE it would be good.
Friend: I SEA what you did there.
The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!
Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!
How ISS greets their friend.
"You the BOMB!"
Don’t you just wanna hang around, like Chester?
One day I saw my friend in a hospital bed. He told me to call 911. Instead, I called his parents.
Me: Hey Jim!
Jim: I'm now a cannibal.
Me: WAIT, JIM! N-
Why is the beach friendly?
Because it waves!
A redhead, a dark-haired woman, and a blonde walk into a bar and agree to fly to the sun!
The blonde states, "I agree, let's leave at night!"
The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.
Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.