what do gum and guns have in comman when you pull one out every one wants to be your friend all of a sodden
Why does Sally has no friends? Because she is obese.
Me: Hey wanna know my spirit animal
Friend: Sure
Me: Road kill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead
Me: Aren't you my son
Friend: So that's what mom was trying to hide from me
What did one ☝️ cat 🐈 say to the other? Happy 😃
How emos propose:would you please join my family tree.
Credit to my friend @omnom
why is the dog haveing kfc becuse the dog has no friend
Last week was my BLIND friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need. As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grader for a birthday present he sets it next to him. As weeks past he comes up to me. He said " That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I has ever read"
My friend is blind. So he always says he cannot nazi .
my friend wast laughing at my jokes so i said is you funny bone broken but he git mad and than i said do you have bone to pick with me he try to insult me but i said call me what you want i got think skin and this story was down to the bone
will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today! beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that! will: Yey! beverly: What should we bring him? will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* come in the bucket!
dang... if i could rearrange the alphabet i would put D IN U ;)
i only know there is 25 letters in the alphabet, i don't know Y.
(mE: how many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (friEnd: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(mE: there are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (crUsh: no. there is actually 26) -- (mE: oooOoh, i forgot u r a q t ! so its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (crUsh: you forgot the D) -- (mE: thats not needed yet ;] )
what letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
I have more std’s then Hicks has friends at the moment I only have 1
My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said "haha that is funny"
When my friend eats a mint, I say hey is it mint to be sweet?
my friend bought a tom holland blaket and i said well, now ur sleeping with him
I am looking for a Robert "Jamie" Weber. He is a friend of mine from 3rd grade, that welcomed me as the new kid. I am currently in 6th grade going into 7th grade (summer brake)
Ashley said to me one day that what is my name and I said my name is everyday life of stupidity
Friend 1 : how come when you say apart your lips move apart but when you say together they move apart? Me: maybe your lips want a divorce
My friend has a shovel made of gold I guess you could call him a Gold digger
My friend dreamed of being a porno star. He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him The next job he got was pumping petrol, halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
