Friend jokes

Why are friends a lot like snow?

If you pee on them, they disappear.

My "friend" has dyslexia.

All my friends live in a forest. It's called Aokigahara.

Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"

Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"

Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"

Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!

Bob Weir: Where are you going?

Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈

Guys, add me as a friend in Roblox. I'm hawaiilover973 :D

To Mr. Nice Guy, you are nice, sweet, and caring! I am so grateful to be your friend!

Friend: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Friend: Your life.

Me: Ahhh, I wish!

*jumps off building*

My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."

My friend Harry.

Me and my suicidal friend are close, so I took him to the mall to treat him.

We bought snacks, a new controller for his Xbox, and LED lights for his room to hopefully brighten his mood. After we scanned the last item, the machine beeped by itself.

My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?

Hey Qwen, it's me.

Why can't orphans have friends?

They will stay together.

I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."

Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.

I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.

POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.

The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."

A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."

"Interesting."

"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.

I did not want to join sailing, but my friend roped me into it.