Friend jokes

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.

Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

Who's Paul Walker's close friend?

Tree.

Person: My left ear is ringing.

Friend: Then answer it!

Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."

Friends, gather here.

Samantha, Josephine, Stevie, Jess, Alice, and Alex.

I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

My friend is an emo. I asked why he wears black. He said, "Black like my soul." I just walked away.

My friends' titties are bigger than my sakuras.

My emo friend got jealous when my phone died.

Me: What do you call an orphan?

Friend: Homeless.

My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.