Friend jokes

If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?

The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.

Why does an orphan like The Beatles? Because it's family friendly.

What did the lettuce say to the carrot?

"Lettuce be friends!"

Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?

Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.

Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.

Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?

My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”

Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?

Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.

Tell it to your parents and friends!

My orphan terrorist friend is on TV... I think he blew up.

Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.

My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?

Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.

Why does Struan smell so awful? Because he is friends with Jerp.

If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.

My friend: I want to cut myself.

Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.

My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.

I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.

When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.

I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"

My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.