Friend jokes
If your name is Jack, I think you are a stupid person that leaves their friends and blocks them on everything.
Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?
You: Yeah, but why so many people?
Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.
You: Dude!!!!
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
I saw this one quote: "The people who smile the most are covering the most pain." I think this is true, just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends, but with my parents and family, I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do.
I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe, 22/24, but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate, saying I would tell her that my depression got worse. She went along with it, but I haven't told my mum and I now make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist.
When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life
Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?
They always hang around.
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Lego figures from his friend, but they ran away too.
One day I went to talk to my friend.
"Hi John!" I said.
No response.
"Oh, yeah."
I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.
"Hope that helps!"
I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!
Me be like: ;-;
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.
Friend: What was the first?
Me: They- they weren't always orphans.
Friend: O-O
My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."
My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂
Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎
Me: Want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.
Friend: What's funny about that?
Me: Because the next day they disowned me.
When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.
Friend: Your life is a joke.
Me: No, jokes have meaning.
Times are hard at the moment for people on disability benefits. I’ve got a friend who’s a dwarf...
...and he’s struggling to put food on the table.
The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!
Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)
I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).
I gathered some "slapies."
The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!
I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!
I feed it to them!
They overreacted!
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Bye!