My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.
Most of his Taliban friends have more wives than teeth.
You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.
My friend is an emo. I asked why he wears black. He said, "Black like my soul." I just walked away.
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
My friends' titties are bigger than my sakuras.
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
Why didn't the orphan play video games with his friends?
Because his parents wouldn't let him.
Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
My orphan terrorist friend is on TV... I think he blew up.
Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?
Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.
Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣
My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.
