Friend jokes

Why didn't the orphan play video games with his friends?

Because his parents wouldn't let him.

One day I went to talk to my friend.

"Hi John!" I said.

No response.

"Oh, yeah."

I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.

"Hope that helps!"

My friend is an emo. I asked why he wears black. He said, "Black like my soul." I just walked away.

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

My friends' titties are bigger than my sakuras.

My emo friend got jealous when my phone died.

Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.

What did the lettuce say to the carrot?

"Lettuce be friends!"

My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?

Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.

You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.

My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.

Friends, gather here.

Samantha, Josephine, Stevie, Jess, Alice, and Alex.

Me: Are you an alien?

Friend: No.

Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.

Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣

My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

Boy: "What do you mean?"

Friend and me: "We can show you."

Me: "I will tie the rope."

Friend: "I will push the chair."