Friend jokes
Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.
Why does an orphan like The Beatles? Because it's family friendly.
Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.
Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?
My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?
Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
Why does Struan smell so awful? Because he is friends with Jerp.
One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
My orphan terrorist friend is on TV... I think he blew up.
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
Who's Paul Walker's close friend?
Tree.
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
Person: My left ear is ringing.
Friend: Then answer it!
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.