Lighter jokes
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Memes
Basically Apple in a Nutshell
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until it's too light to light.
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
Why do they call matches, matches?
They all look the same.
Why is my anus burning?
'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!
What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
Ebay is so useless. I tried searching up lighters, and all they had was 13,749 matches.
Memes
Community
Dear Worst Jokes Ever,
I sit here with a heavy heart, tears streaming down my face, as I write this farewell letter to you. Our time spent together has brought both laughter and despair, but alas, it is time for me to bid you adieu.
From the moment I stumbled upon your twisted humor, I thought I had found my home, a sanctuary for those who appreciate the darkest corners of comedy. Oh, how we laughed, or rather, how… Read more
Icanfeelmyheartinpainicanfeelittearingapartrightnowicanfeelthetearscomeingicanfeelmyemotnionsfadeingicanfeelimnotokandidontthinkiwillbeforawhileifeelikeaburdenifeellikeidontbelonganywhereanymoresowhygoanywhereimnotfuckingokandimhideingthatiwanttobeoksomeonefuckingmakeitokbeforeigrabalighteranddosomestupidshit..
'Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars I'm gonna give you my heart 'Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars 'Cause you light up the path I don't care, go on and tear me apart I don't care if you do, ooh-ooh, ooh 'Cause in a sky, 'cause in a sky full of stars I think I saw you 'Cause you're a sky, 'cause you're a sky full of stars I wanna die in your arms, oh, oh-oh 'Cause you get lighter… Read more