Friend Jokes

Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find

Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.

I tried a lemonade from my friend. It tasted fantatastic!

Your hairline goes so far back, your mom is scared you're not going to make friends.

I asked my friend what happened to him?

His balance shifted.

My boyfriend and I were playing baseball last night with some of our friends. Halfway through the game we took a break and he asked me to hold his balls for him whilst he went to the toilet.

All our friends were shocked when I went into the boys' bathroom with him.

he gay

The image shows Megamind, a blue animated character, looking up. There is a smaller figure standing near the side of his face. In the background is a second person looking at Megamind. Text above the image reads, "When your friend tells your crush that you like her so you tell his crush he's gay." Text on the image says: "Oh you're a villain alright, just not a super one!"

My friend's man has seizures, so guess who won their breakdancing tournament.

Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.

Me: What are we doing in HPE?

Friend: Fitness.

Me: Fitting deez nuts in your mouth.

My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."

Friends = your power level.

Emo kid = power level: 0000.

You: I have a nice hairline.

Your friend: Since when do you have one?

You: I forgot.

My emo friend tried to hi-five a tree. It left him hanging

A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)

What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.

I had a friend named Wemiyoe... We call him "we me you."

My Dearest Friend--C'mon, RickRoll ;)

Dwarfism is a growing problem.

Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.

He jumped off a curb stone.

My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.

So I went to a church the other day and I asked my friend, "Is that painting of Jesus and is it through the wall with one with three nails?" Oh wait, I wasn’t even Jesus, he’s not doing the T post that he invented.