Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.
Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends Chad just murdered his wife Claire and after doing that he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after My moms reply: Jesus Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess won’t he
The twin towers are like water bottles
it's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess
Q: why did Sally drop her ice cream? A: she go hit by a bus.
This year I'm going to name my Christmas Tree , Amy Winehouse , because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room
Papyrus:You are so lazy sans! Sans:Call me what you want.I got THICK SKIN! Pap:Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!! Frisk:HAHAHA Pap:we are monsters.The awfulest kind! Sans:to mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!
My dogs pooped in my shoes?pooper
What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common?they both can’t hear their parents
Why can’t an orphan go to family dollar?they don’t have a family
Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up u gotta fight the suicide squad
my dog went threw my bathroom garbage and for some reason my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
My Daughter is Super Smart! She pours her own drinks on the floor
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.
what does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common? A. both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.
A Blond and her Brunette friend where chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her. To not be outdone the blond retort's. Thats nothing once we we're in the kitchen I can't believe I didn't see it coming one minute I turned and He just got it all on my face it was so thick and hard! it covered my mouth, my nose,my shoulders, and eyes it even got in my hair; and when i looked up at him all he could say was whoops the Flower went everywhere!
I left my dog at home once and when I came home it was a mess, lets say I was in a RUFF situation
a skeleton walk into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me and if you try to insult me i have thick skin.
Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”
Foxy the fox the was a careless fox she didn't care about her friend Froggy Froggy was a careful frog One day froggy dicided to teach the fox a lesson Foxy was in her bed sleeping When froggy made her room an entire mess She got up and then the mother berated her up for not cleaning her room From now she is a careful fox
