The 70+ Best Mess Jokes

Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

They say I’ll mess up my insides, but I don’t have any.

Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.

Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.

Window Problems A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now.”

I saw this one quote of the people who smile the most are covering the most pain I think this is true just not with everyone. As I am really depressed and act like myself with my friends but with my parents and family I force a smile so they don't worry more than they do. I did a test for my therapy session to see what level of depression I had. It came back with severe 22/24 but I asked her to tell my mum it came back as moderate saying I would tell her that my depression got worse she went along with it but I haven't told my mum and I know make things sound like I aren't as messed up as I truly am to my therapist

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends Chad just murdered his wife Claire and after doing that he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after My moms reply: Jesus Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess won’t he

So little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test, his mother and father gets home and he tells them " mom I failed my math test" his mother aggressively says "get the belt" Johnny says "why?" His mother says "im gonna spank you for failing" Johnny says "so just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night

The twin towers are like water bottles

it's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Little Johny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something, Then he sees a plastic di##. He asks his mom whats that and mom didnt now. so when his dad comes home from work he sees him with the plastick di## and says son why uy messing with my personal toy

Bleach solves so many problems, Staines, Dirty dishes, messes, and over population

i went to the pharmacy the other day. i tried to buy a pack of condoms but i pretended i didnt have enough money to mess with the cashier. i went back into the aisles of the store got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap bought them and walked out. i loved the look on the casheirs face when they saw my decision.

A Blond and her Brunette friend where chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her. To not be outdone the blond retort's. Thats nothing once we we're in the kitchen I can't believe I didn't see it coming one minute I turned and He just got it all on my face it was so thick and hard! it covered my mouth, my nose,my shoulders, and eyes it even got in my hair; and when i looked up at him all he could say was whoops the Flower went everywhere!

All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something. Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.