Food jokes
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
Why did Draven eat curry?
I don't know, ask him.
Dravenッ
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?
He's got some "sweet" moves!
Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."
Walnut says, "I look like a brain."
Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."
Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big dill!
I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"
What happens when you cross a pig and karate?
A pork chop!
Yo mama so fat, Bill Gates went broke trying to buy her dinner.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!
Why did the baker's hands smell of shit?
He kneaded a turd.
What do you call a pig in the mud?
A Ky hot brown.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
Why can’t orphans go to a family restaurant?
Because there’s no family.
What do you call a gay barbecue?
LGTBBQ.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
If LEO were a spice, she’d be flour... BLAND and FORGETTABLE!
What do orphans eat for breakfast?
Daddy-O's.
You know why seven ate nine? Because 7, 8, 9.