Food jokes

I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?

But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.

I knead bread.

What goes in soft and comes out hard?

Gum, you whore!

A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.

It was because he didn't speak French.

Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?

A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.

Q: What's red and screams?

A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

What's an orphan's favorite food? Nothing, they can't afford it.

What is a nut that says, "What is your favorite name?"

A magic nut.

I can't stop thinking about those beans.

What do you call Mary Berry when she’s on holiday?

A Cake By The Ocean.

What's a prostitute's favorite snack?

Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.

Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.

How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.

Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

A. Because they hate the taste of their stupid clown wigs, makeup, and retarded shoes.

What is the difference between a human and a tree and a house? Is for dinner today after school today after I have school 🏫 I have for kids dinner 🍴 was that I had dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night is what time it when we went and get the dog 🐶 night and dinner 🍴 night I love 💕 it is the one ☝️ I did not have time today.

A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.

When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!

When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

What was Jesus's favorite food?

Answer: Snails

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?