Food jokes

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.

When a person went to a restaurant, they died once they were in. Three people were a suspect. Two were suspected because she served the food. Turns out, it was the food!

I'm a recovering cake addict.

My dad was on a hotdog with ketchup.

How do you quiet a baby down?

Make baby back ribs for dinner.

What do you call butter without an expiration date?

A miracle butter, because wow!

What did the dumb kid call ratios?

A type of cereal.

What’s Steven Hawking's favorite crisps brand?

Walkers.

What did the fat girl say to the donut?

"I'm going to eat you tonight..."

Why don’t eagles 🦅 like fast food?

Because they can’t catch it!

I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?

But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.

I knead bread.

What goes in soft and comes out hard?

Gum, you whore!

A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.

It was because he didn't speak French.

Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?

A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.

Q: What's red and screams?

A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

What's an orphan's favorite food? Nothing, they can't afford it.