Food jokes
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!
What’s a green cucumber?
A carrot.
What do you call a group of Indians that eat curry all the time?
The Munch Bunch.
Why do orphans have water in cereal?
Because mom was never around to produce milk.
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
What can you do if you have a rotten piece of candy?
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple actually gets picked.
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Do you want to wear my sombrero?
Or is that nacho style?
What is long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cucumber.
"Ketchup with me, you are too slow."
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
What does Stephen Hawking eat?
Do you know Ligma?
Have fun rubbing those balls in your tomatoes!
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
A man came up to me and threatened me with his milk, cheese, and butter... how dairy!