Food jokes
Me: I wouldn’t want to be with a shitmate.
Shitmate: You’re so shitable.
Me: Bring banana ice cream.
Shitmate: Never happening.
What do you call it when Panera Bread is running away?
Panera fled.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
Because they ordered pepperoni, but they got plane.
You're as tall as a giraffe.
Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
What do you call an Indian eating cows? Mooove to jail.
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
What is the difference between a fat person and a whole pizza?
Well, a whole pizza cannot eat a fat person.
What do you call an injured Panera Bread?
Panera Bled.
What do you call a Panera Bread with hair?
Panera Hair.
What do you call a stuck Panera Bread?
Panera Wedged.
What do you call an angry Panera Bread?
Panera slapped!
What kind of chocolate do racists hate?
Dark chocolate.
Where is the best place to eat tacos?
In the Gulp of Mexico.
Your mama is so fat.
She went on a diet and solved world hunger!
Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"
Why did the chef go get the eggs? Because eggs are egg-tastic!
Jomama so dumb, she brung a spoon to the Super Bowl.