Food jokes
I knead bread.
A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.
It was because he didn't speak French.
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.
I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂
my new twin
My dad was on a hotdog with ketchup.
How do you quiet a baby down?
Make baby back ribs for dinner.
What did the fat girl say to the donut?
"I'm going to eat you tonight..."
Why don’t eagles 🦅 like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
What goes in soft and comes out hard?
Gum, you whore!
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What’s the best math equation to eat?
Cosine Law.
Why don't heterosexual men want to suck bananas because they taste like octopus and squid?
How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.
Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A. Because they hate the taste of their stupid clown wigs, makeup, and retarded shoes.
What is the difference between a human and a tree and a house? Is for dinner today after school today after I have school 🏫 I have for kids dinner 🍴 was that I had dinner 🍴 night night dinner 🍴 night is what time it when we went and get the dog 🐶 night and dinner 🍴 night I love 💕 it is the one ☝️ I did not have time today.
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!